32 Questions that Immediately required an answer.

People I know tend to HATE those inane quizzes on Myspace and Facebook.

Me?




I LOVE 'em.

Here is a recent one. (Apologies to those who "actually" wanted to know anything more about me.)

From Facebook:
Tell us about yourself quiz!

Do you see the glass as half empty or half full?
Lawrence Fishburne, wearing a long black leather trenchcoat just leaned over and whispered to me "There is no glass." I'm fine with that.
Who was your hero as a child?
Sal the Hero hero. He could make a mean ass sandwich.

What do you do for fun?
Ask people what they do for fun, then when they open their mouth to answer, toss a pre-chewed skittles in there and run away giggling.

Are you an outdoor or an indoor person
What's the term for someone who spends a lot of time using an Outhouse?

If you had only six months to live, what would you do first?
Get a second opinion from a Dr.
What 3 words would your best friend use to describe you?
Senor Clammy Hands. (I experimented in college)

Where do you see yourself in five years?
in the year 2014. Oh, and there will be hoverboards, but they will mainly be used for evil.

Get the number or give the number?
Make up the number.

Romance or Kinky?
I like a mix of both. Like, Rose petals on a sex swing.. whoa? TMI?

How do you feel?
Using my fingertips. Stop slapping my hand away, I SAW that look you gave me.
What size shoes do you wear?
Clodhopper XLLL

Water or 100% Juice?
I want 85% SKY Vodka and 15% Redbull. NOW! ("Daddy's an angry drunk.")

Would you rather be hot or cold?
lukewarm. But it does make me clammy to the touch.

Would you rather lose an arm or a leg?
Already did. Have you NOT SEEN the grocery prices these days?
Favorite Place to Eat?
I'm not that obese that I would eat an actual place. Unless you count, I guess a gingerbread house?
Opera, Musical, Concert, Play, Performance, or Other?
Other. I'm all about the Jugband Ho-downs.
What is your favorite clothing brand?
Z. Cavaricchi. You can NEVER find enough belt buckles.

If you had to pick one car, which would it be?
Aston Martin. Which, oddly is the same answer to my question WHAT DO YOU WANT TO CHANGE YOUR NAME TO?

Your favorite Disney Films?
The ones where the two leads get together in the end and sing a song about it.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Cause he was stapled to the Dog. Kids can be cruel.

What was your last thought?
Is anyone gonna bother reading this?

Juice and crackers or milk and cookies?
Ritz and V8

Favorite fruit?
Nathan Lane

What is your favorite TV show?
LOST. Any show that can make the whole time travel thing plausible is alright by me

Kill the spider or let it out?
If this is a Euphemism for holding it in when you have to poop?

Do you shower every single day?
Define "shower."

Walking past a beggar, spare change or ignore?
Spare change IF he bests me in a thumb wrestling war.

What is your favorite food?
Cookies in the shape of Steve McQueen.

Do you read Harry Potter books?
Not so much read them as ESCAPE TO ANOTHER WORLD! *Singing READING RAINBOW SONG*

If you could have one super human power what would you choose?
The power to have time for naps.

Have you had a beer in the last week?
*stops drinking beer for a moment* I'm sorry, what?
What would you do if Michael Jackson asked you out?
Ask him what time the mother ship would be leaving and if I could touch the Elephant Man's pubic bone.
(This question was obviously asked AFTER he passed away. I stand by my answer.)